Q:I am a widow, in my early thirties, with three children. Because of my marital status, I can’t avoid to have suitors. They are, however, all younger than I.

One avid suitor has the qualities I like. He is also comfortable with my children. But I am avoiding him because I am afraid he might change his mind in case he will meet someone his age.

What are some of the things I need to consider before making a decision to accept him or not, aside from the age gap?

A:Your age gap may not be over 10 years considering you’re in your early thirties, unless he’s 22 and you’re 34. More important than the chronological age, however, is the emotional age.

Marrying, in your case, is not all about love, security, and companionship. There are other things you need to consider, like the opinions and feelings of your children.

If you’re both professionals, you will be speaking in the same language – overtime work, deadline, etc. If, however, you’re a professional and hold a position, and he’s a college dropout with no work, it will limit your interaction. Your friends will also be of different worlds.

More importantly, will be a responsible and faithful husband, a financial helpmate, and a spiritual partner? Will he be sensitive to your children’s needs?

You still feel insecure about his love for you. Take more time to know him. Give each other some space first. Don’t rush. He has not proven his worth yet.

I want you to ask yourself why he chose you over girls who are single, professionals, and not single mothers. In other words, get deep into his motive for courting you.

Don’t decide on this matter without consulting your family and trusted friends. They are the ones who can give honest opinions about your suitor.

More matters you need to consider – family background, emotional maturity, and marriage preparedness, among other things.

In situations like this, I introduce you to Jesus. He has the solution to your problem. He is just waiting for you to ask His help.

Q:I’m 33 and single. I got involved with a man whom I later found out to be married. Now I have a big problem because I have also discovered that he has gonorrhea. When I found that out more than a month ago, I went to see a doctor who gave me an injection twice, plus other antibiotics to take. I’ve spent so much already but I still have a discharge and extreme itchiness in my genital organ. What more Can I do?

A:Sexually transmitted disease (STD) in our country especially in the city, is often caused by mixed infections.

Aside from gonorrhea infection, there are other bacteria or organisms involved commonly termed as non-gonococcal urethritis. Because of your complaint of extreme itchiness, there may also be an accompanying yeast or trichomonas infection. The best way to find out is by having laboratory tests to find out what specific organisms are involved. The tests are smears for wet mount, gram stain, as well as culture and sensitivity. You must also examined by a gynecologist to check your genital organs for other signs and symptoms that will correlate with the laboratory test results. From these, a more specific drug can be given to completely eradicate your infection.

Q:My 22-year-old boyfriend (who’s not married but has a son) forced me one day to go with him to a hotel and to have sex with him against my will. (”Nanlaban ako”)I Fought to no avail. Should I file a case against my boyfriend?

A:Are you emotionally ready to relieve the trauma in court? Are there witnesses to prove your boyfriend forced you into having sex with him? Are you financially ready for a court battle? Do you have supportive family and friends?

Consider these questions before making a decision. Court hearings are never easy – especially the detailed, intimate cross-examination. That’s why many rape cases go unreported.

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What a joyful privilege I had to be able to celebrate the United Nations Year of the Family at Andrews University in Michigan with Family Life International participants from many places of the world! I really thank God for opening that wonderful door for me at a time when family values and family wellness are on focus worldwide. Indeed the conference theme, I believe, best described the expectations of all present – “Restoring Families: Turning Hearts in a Troubled World.”

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Young people frequently complain, “I can’t talk to my parents” or “My parents just don’t understand me.” Often this really isn’t true, but it may be the impression you get because your parents don’t know how to handle talking with you about some of the things you want and need to know. They may be confused about how to treat you. Half the time they are telling you to grow up, and the other half they may be treating you like a baby.

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Not every book is a good book, of course. Many children’s books are shoddily written and poorly illustrated, and far too many use of words or deal with themes that are inappropriate.

So what can you do? Here are some suggestions:

1. Talk to the Experts.

Children’s librarians can provide suggestions for books for children of all ages.

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Negativism, Stubbornness and Disobedience.

It is common practice among Filipino parents to call their child “hardheaded” or “stubborn” because he has been disobedient. It has thus become difficult to tell from the parents’ statements whether the child’s behavior or problematic or not.

For example, at around the age of two or three, your child will develop a tendency to say “no,” along with other negative phrases like “I won’t,” “I don’t” and “I can’t.” This is most likely to happen at mealtime, bedtime or bathtime, or whenever you issue a command. Some children say “no” so relentlessly that they say it even when they mean “yes.”

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It is estimated that annually 7,000 teenagers kill themselves, one million think about it, and 400,000 attempts are made.

The magnitude of this problem demands that people know and understand the warning signs of suicide. What once was confined to discussion in hushed tones has become the focus of network news programs and other television broadcasts.

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As you stand and gaze everything around you, you could see a real beauty, from the smallest things to the large one. Look at the shape of those leaves of hanging plants as they partially sway as the air blows, the color of the walls and fence although they begin to fade, the design of the pots as they were gathered in a row, I see nowhere which is ugly but only pure beauty. But could you believe that the time will come, beauty will fade.

Yes, there is no such thing which is permanent, only the change itself.

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A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and going to get married. He says,” Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay, Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.” She immediately replies, “The one in the middle.”

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