Negativism, Stubbornness and Disobedience.

It is common practice among Filipino parents to call their child “hardheaded” or “stubborn” because he has been disobedient. It has thus become difficult to tell from the parents’ statements whether the child’s behavior or problematic or not.

For example, at around the age of two or three, your child will develop a tendency to say “no,” along with other negative phrases like “I won’t,” “I don’t” and “I can’t.” This is most likely to happen at mealtime, bedtime or bathtime, or whenever you issue a command. Some children say “no” so relentlessly that they say it even when they mean “yes.”

This does not mean that your child has become negative or defiant. He is merely asserting his growing independence. By disagreeing with whatever you propose, he forces you to treat him as a person.

Concerned parents and teachers should instead look out for the following behavior:

He sulks or make a fuss (even throws a tantrum) when given an order;

He drags his feet or is slow to respond to your call;

He insists of having his way and will not listen to reason;

He quarrels with his siblings over household chores.

The child cries loudly and incessantly. He shrieks, stamps his feet or throws himself to the floor kicking, in a willful outburst of anger. The child is throwing a tantrum.

Tantrums are an expected part of the child’s growing up. It is common between the ages two and three. Among very young children who cannot express themselves well and who, as yet, have not learned self-control, tantrums are emotional outlets. They are often the result of frustration.