A:Are you emotionally ready to relieve the trauma in court? Are there witnesses to prove your boyfriend forced you into having sex with him? Are you financially ready for a court battle? Do you have supportive family and friends?

Consider these questions before making a decision. Court hearings are never easy – especially the detailed, intimate cross-examination. That’s why many rape cases go unreported.

However, some cases similar to yours prosper in court. The court could rule that “a rape victim would not publicly disclose that she had been raped and undergo the trouble and humiliation of a trial if her motive was not to bring to justice the persons who abused her “(226 Supreme Court Report Annotated, 156). Hence the popular line, “Kapag may katwiran, ipaglaban mo.” You have legal rights. Bu filing or not filing a court case against your boyfriend is yours to decide. “If you decide to report your rape, preserving evidence is crucial …..If you decide against reporting it, find a trusted person you can talk to…. Also, seek medical attention for the possibility of pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease” (Insight magazine, 1995).

Rape is a traumatic experience. Recovery takes time. Fear, anger, depression, guilt are some emotions you have to deal with. But Jesus says, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). The Lord asks you to unburden your emotional load to Him. He will help you restore your peace of mind.

What a joyful privilege I had to be able to celebrate the United Nations Year of the Family at Andrews University in Michigan with Family Life International participants from many places of the world! I really thank God for opening that wonderful door for me at a time when family values and family wellness are on focus worldwide. Indeed the conference theme, I believe, best described the expectations of all present – “Restoring Families: Turning Hearts in a Troubled World.”

It would be impossible for me to put down here all the highlights. What I want to echo to you now are ways to reach out to other families beginning with your own and mine.

In Your Personal Reflection

1. Reflect on God’s love. What human instruments have deeply influenced you in your understanding of His love?
2. Write down how God has used your family in making you a better person, a better Christian.

In Your Marriage

1. Take time to communicate about the meaning of your faith with your spouse. How does your faith affect the way you handle anger or resolve conflict?
2. Share your thoughts and inner feelings together with your spouse. Give evidence of God’s grace at work in your life by your empathy. Take time to listen.
3. Endeavor to encourage and uplift your spouse with affirmation and appropriate compliments.
4. Pray together regularly.

In Parenting

1. Make a list of changes you would like to make to be a better parent.
2. Endeavor to make it easy for your children to do right by your positive relationships with them, by smiling often, by entering into their feelings.
3. Ask forgiveness of your child for something you have done which brought pain to him or her.
4. Show unconditional love and acceptance of your child.
5. Pray with each of your children, rehearsing God’s love and your love for your child in your prayer.

For Friends and Neighbors

1. Encourage your children to de little errands of love and mercy for those less fortunate than themselves.
2. Pay a friendship visit to a shut-in.
3. Provide a no-interest loan to a financially struggling family.
4. Have a “help and bless” brain storming session with your family. What act of Christian helpfulness might your family perform right now for someone in your extended family, your neighborhood, your community?

You can add to each of these lists. You and I can be tools in helping restore families by turning hearts in a troubled world. And we can start doing that now.