Q:I am a widow, in my early thirties, with three children. Because of my marital status, I can’t avoid to have suitors. They are, however, all younger than I.

One avid suitor has the qualities I like. He is also comfortable with my children. But I am avoiding him because I am afraid he might change his mind in case he will meet someone his age.

What are some of the things I need to consider before making a decision to accept him or not, aside from the age gap?

A:Your age gap may not be over 10 years considering you’re in your early thirties, unless he’s 22 and you’re 34. More important than the chronological age, however, is the emotional age.

Marrying, in your case, is not all about love, security, and companionship. There are other things you need to consider, like the opinions and feelings of your children.

If you’re both professionals, you will be speaking in the same language – overtime work, deadline, etc. If, however, you’re a professional and hold a position, and he’s a college dropout with no work, it will limit your interaction. Your friends will also be of different worlds.

More importantly, will be a responsible and faithful husband, a financial helpmate, and a spiritual partner? Will he be sensitive to your children’s needs?

You still feel insecure about his love for you. Take more time to know him. Give each other some space first. Don’t rush. He has not proven his worth yet.

I want you to ask yourself why he chose you over girls who are single, professionals, and not single mothers. In other words, get deep into his motive for courting you.

Don’t decide on this matter without consulting your family and trusted friends. They are the ones who can give honest opinions about your suitor.

More matters you need to consider – family background, emotional maturity, and marriage preparedness, among other things.

In situations like this, I introduce you to Jesus. He has the solution to your problem. He is just waiting for you to ask His help.